From Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry in bed together to Ali being robbed of victory as festive farewells go, The Great Christmas Bake Off was just unsavoury, by Jim Shelley

The Nice Christmas Bake Off started with Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry in mattress. Collectively.

As opening photographs go, it was a surreal sight. Or the stuff of nightmares...

Whether or not it was kind of disturbing that Mel & Sue had been in there below the covers too was laborious to say.

Festive enjoyable! GBBO was bowing out with two Christmas crackers bringing again 4 of its hottest ex-contestants from 'the Bake Off household' and the presenters cramming in as many puns whereas they nonetheless may

On the one hand, you can see it as an eccentric little sketch paying homage to Morecombe & Clever. On the opposite, it did look as in the event that they had been having a type of comedy, culinary, foursome.

Both approach it was not the opening anybody anticipated for the primary of the Bake Off's two festive farewells - sufficient to place you off your turkey in actual fact and make you suppose you actually should cease consuming egg nog particularly when Paul began speaking in his sleep and revealed he was dreaming about 'a soggy backside.'

He didn't say whose it was. Mary Berry interrupted his unsavoury fantasy barking: 'Pipe down Paul !' - one thing we've all needed to say or see for six years.

Fortunately this introduction/aberration was quickly over. Regular service was resumed.

Pun-tastic: Sue Perkins mentioned it was 'a Mary Christmas' and referred to 'the Holly and the Berry'

GBBO was bowing out with two Christmas crackers bringing again 4 of its hottest ex-contestants from 'the Bake Off household' and the presenters cramming in as many puns whereas they nonetheless may.

Sue Perkins mentioned it was 'a Mary Christmas' and referred to 'the Holly and the Berry.'

Mel Giedroyc advised the Bakers: 'Yuletide be happy to listen to you've acquired half an hour left !'

Double entendres about biscuit baubles being 'properly baked, properly adorned, and properly hung' had been pure Carry On Cooking.

Though it was meant to be a little bit of 'festive frivolity', it nonetheless served to remind us what we had been going to be lacking: a recipe of enjoyable, talent, some aggressive edge, plus a touch of controversy.

Fan favourites: The 4 Bakers had been: Ali Imdad, who gained the viewers over in 2013

Again with a bang: Mary-Anne Boermans who was theoretically the favorite having reached the Collection Two ultimate

Crowd pleaser: Followers went wild for beloved Norman Calder on social media

Baking magnificence: Cathryn Dresser was the fifth to go away when she took half in 2012

The 4 Bakers had been: Ali Imdad, Cathryn Dresser, Norman Calder, and Mary-Anne Boermans who was theoretically the favorite having reached the Collection Two ultimate and would (based on Sue Perkins) 'endlessly be remembered for unintentionally piping her daughter's title on her Sacher torte.' Wild and loopy occasions…

The actual pleasure was not watching who would win however Norman Calder, the legendary no-nonsense Scot from Collection 5 in 2014.

'My spouse says I'm going to do higher this time !' Norman declared bluffly.

Sadly if something his creations had been much more fundamental, cussed, and extra…Norman.

Good man: The actual pleasure was not watching who would win however Norman Calder, the legendary no-nonsense Scot from Collection 5 in 2014

Ding dong! Norman's edible Christmas tree decorations for the Signature Problem for instance had been 'orange & cinnamon Dufrickies' and 'whisky flavoured shortbread Ding Dangs.' (Don't ask.)

Telling off: 'Norman if you end up requested to do two biscuits I believe that it could have been good to do two totally different designs,' Mary Berry chastised him, like a cross between his governess and the queen

Norman's edible Christmas tree decorations for the Signature Problem for instance had been 'orange & cinnamon Dufrickies' and 'whisky flavoured shortbread Ding Dangs.' (Don't ask).

He adorned his Ding Dangs with purple and inexperienced striped icing and his Dufrickies in inexperienced and purple. Or vice versa, it was laborious to inform.

'Norman if you end up requested to do two biscuits I believe that it could have been good to do two totally different designs,' Mary Berry chastised him, like a cross between his governess and the queen.

For the Technical Problem of creating 36 choux buns right into a wreath he admitted: 'This has acquired me beat, I've acquired no thought what a two-tiered wreath ought to seem like. Ought to a wreath have a gap within the centre?'

Again to enterprise: Cathryn Dresser had been a semi finalist in Collection Three and likewise primarily repeated her first expertise

Tinseltown: Ali Imdad had gone out pretty rapidly in Collection 4 after 'disasters together with his presentation', which was laborious to imagine when he created dazzling Center Japanese-style biscuits

Sure. His erratic icing additionally meant the choux buns' ornament to not very like snowflakes (as instructed) however spiders' webs – reasonably much less appetising.

'Fourth place doesn't sound too unhealthy does it?!' Norman prompt sweetly, though it sounded higher when there have been greater than 4 contestants.

When it got here to the Showstopper and he mirrored 'I don't make truffles as a rule' you questioned how (or why) Norman had appeared on the Bake Off – twice.

Cathryn Dresser had been a semi finalist in Collection Three and likewise primarily repeated her first expertise.

'If I bear in mind rightly final time you left us on the finish of Biscuit Week,' talked about Mary Berry, alluding to the gingerbread Buckingham Palace that Cathryn herself described as 'dreadful.'

'It was undoubtedly good to get some higher biscuit feedback,' thought-about Cathryn after Mary enthused her edible decorations had been 'very jolly.' 'However I believe I've determined I simply don't like biscuits.'

Beautiful jubbly: 'I've by no means seen something prefer it earlier than. I believe it's a giant win !' enthused Hollywood whereas Mary sighed that Ali's rose & fennel biscuits adorned like henna 'not solely look gorgeous they style lovely.'

Gone to Hollywood: That's scrumptious. Actually. Wow !' Paul advised Ali. The Hollywood handshake sealed his approval.

Ali Imdad had gone out pretty rapidly in Collection 4 after 'disasters together with his presentation', which was laborious to imagine when he created dazzling Center Japanese-style biscuits that actually had been baubles (gooey date and orange shortbread encased in a crisp coating manufactured from melted boiled sweets).

'I've by no means seen something prefer it earlier than. I believe it's a giant win !' enthused Hollywood whereas Mary sighed that Ali's rose & fennel biscuits adorned like henna 'not solely look gorgeous they style lovely.'

Aside from that, she didn't like them…

'That's scrumptious. Actually. Wow !' agreed Paul, much less eloquently.

The Hollywood handshake sealed his approval.

Mary-Anne obtained one too, squealing 'I'm by no means going to clean !' and trembling 'I'm getting fairly emotional' when Mary gave her one too, purring that her 'Christmas cake' biscuits had been 'divine. I may eat six of these!'

You didn't doubt it – or that she would nonetheless resemble a goldfinch in Chanel.

Ali's baubles certainly had the sting although and he pulled additional forward when his two-tiered choux wreath gained the Technical.

Scorching and bothered: Mary-Anne however was solely third having crammed the opening within the centre of the wreath, Hollywood tutted, 'with a swimming pool of chocolate.'

Mary specifically liked his buns.

'Properly-filled ! Very good certainly !' she swooned.

Mary-Anne however was solely third having crammed the opening within the centre of the wreath, Hollywood tutted, 'with a swimming pool of chocolate.'

'What's happening?! If this isn't a Welcome Again I don't know what's !' Ali celebrated confirming he too thought he was forward.

By the tip of the Showstopper, Ali – just like the others – the enjoyment of being again had gone.

'I'm simply so exhausted,' he gasped. 'I believe I misplaced 2000 energy.'

Initially of the present Cathryn had described doing the Bake Off the primary time as 'my primary expertise', rapidly including: 'not together with my kids.' Returning to the tent was, she mentioned, 'a Christmas dream come true !'

Awkward: Initially of the present Cathryn had described doing the Bake Off the primary time as 'my primary expertise', rapidly including: 'not together with my kids.'

Too many cooks: She had already forgotten to show the oven on (or press 'Play') and misplaced half a cake (in Ali's oven). Ultimately she crumbled below the strain.

She had already forgotten to show the oven on (or press 'Play') and misplaced half a cake (in Ali's oven). Ultimately she crumbled below the strain.

She didn't end her Showstopper, ending up with extra tears than tiers, changing into so distraught Mel & Sue swooped to console her with a double hug.

'I such as you however I haven't acquired time !' complained Cathryn, snapping out of it.

Mary-Anne additionally turned tearful, however as a result of hers went properly.

'To have my Showstopper trying principally the best way I needed was a bit emotional. I needed my final cake for Mary Berry to be one.'

It was greater than that.

'The flavours are very good. There isn't one tier that you simply've failed on,' Mary sighed admiringly, congratulating Mary-Anne on a Dutch 'speculaas' cake impressed by her festive holidays within the Netherlands.

European winner: 'The flavours are very good. There isn't one tier that you simply've failed on,' Mary sighed admiringly, congratulating Mary-Anne on a Dutch 'speculaas' cake impressed by her festive holidays within the Netherlands

'Wow !' agreed Hollywood once more.

Clearly we couldn't inform how good it tasted however even when it was higher than Ali's Showstopper, her 'speculaas' didn't appear spectacular sufficient to grab victory away from him.

He had clearly gained the earlier two rounds and his Showstopper was strong (in a great way).

Hollywood significantly liked what Ali known as his 'cinnamon mousse with out cinnamon' (no, me neither) and Mary Berry mentioned Ali's sponges had been 'easy however pretty.'

'Every of the 4 tiers rejoice elements of Jesus' life,' he had defined. 'And use components believed to have been round on the time' - particularly lemon, saffron, spiced fig, cinnamon, orange, and almond.

As themes go, it appeared like a reasonably good option to seal victory on The Nice Christmas Bake Off.

It appeared as if Ali couldn't lose. However someway Paul and Mary determined he had managed it. 

Bye Bake off: As themes go, it appeared like a reasonably good option to seal victory on The Nice Christmas Bake Off

 

Tweet